Emotional and mental wellness as a cancer parent

Do you struggle with emotional and mental wellness?

From birth, our littles have the innate ability to express their unhindered emotions freely. These emotions are felt fully and often with tears or the most adorable giggles. During treatment, I found that if I met her in her fears and allowed her to express whatever emotion she had that day, that she could be laughing and dancing within the next breath. I, on the other hand, thought my emotions would complicate things more than they already were. This picture below obviously shows fear and helplessness but, for the most part, I was able to hide my emotions. In fact, I was GREAT at it! Somewhere along the way, the little me grew up and learned quickly to stifle those emotions, to not be vulnerable, to numb, suppress and to just keep going. You know, like Dori from Finding Nemo. "Just keep swimming......" Don’t make a fuss. Don’t cause my child more sadness or pain. And yet, what most of us don’t realize is that we are not like Dori and we don’t forget. We are actually creating mental turmoil and anguish instead.

There are specific things needed for ultimate health and Thrivorship like nourishing foods, sleep, exercise, a green environment, mindfulness and detoxification. However, these are not just for our littles. And these pillars absolutely effect our emotions and mental well-being.

For instance, mindfulness practices teach us that emotions are bound to explode, that is normal. However, unaddressed emotions can literally turn into haunting thoughts that torment us. “We must recognize that our negative self-talk is not the result of some character flaw; rather it stems from our own emotional wounds. If we can acknowledge and process our emotional suffering without pushing it away, then we open a path for real self-compassion.” That is one of my favorite quotes from the MaxLove Project Mindfulness course.

Also, nutrition is imperative for our Mommy-game to be on par. Do I need cognitive function and great memory for all the appointments, medications, schedule and at home shots? Umm, yes I do! Give me an order of healthy fats, please!!! Everyday!! Do I suffer from anxiety, insomnia and depression? Umm, yes I do!!! Give me multiple dishes of wholefoods that then create my neurotransmitters!!! If we were to think of our health in this matter, it would probably prevent the majority of us from seeking out external breaking-systems like alcohol. That was me! More Wine please! But what about exercise? Well, I didn’t turn to exercise to create “feel good” hormones because I thought that time was selfish and I tried to ignore the sadness and my lack of feel good hormones altogether.

Besides those health pillars, there is something else that I found extremely helpful during treatment and after. This is using essential oils to balance emotions and improve overall mood. Using essential oils aromatically through the Olfactory receptors (sense of smell) has been proven to be the fastest way to send signals to our limbic system (governs over our emotions), creating physiological and psychological benefits within seconds. Diffusers aren’t allowed in some hospitals anymore, but there are other ways to get the benefits of plant therapy. Our journey is a tough one. This road called cancer and the trauma side effects WILL out run us and last longer than our ability to stifle it. So use tools that are available for supporting optimal wellness, and not just for your kiddos but you as well, because eventually your glass will be empty. Fill it up!