The stress of childhood cancer on a marriage

We vowed and promised forever

Our straight lines to bliss were tethered

To bear children and grow old was the plan

Until a possibility of burying that child was spoken

We fought hard for her and fought for us

Not knowing our stifled emotions were dangerous

You took care of the bills and insurance

I held down the home, it tested our endurance

Your stresses grew and you longed to be close

I researched and implemented while my sexual desires froze

It was very apparent, the crushing spirit, the brokenness

And despite your nature, this, you could not fix

We knew the statistics, that would never be us

But when fighting to float, behaviors are seen as just

Who are we now as we cling to the bed’s side?

We did our best to conquer and divide

******

This is meant to acknowledge the difficulty in relationships while walking a child through a life-threatening disease. The Oncologist fails to mention that chemotherapy has a side effect on marriage, right?! I could never fathom the depth of the words “for better or for worse” until now. This is truly the most difficult test of a relationship. Something so cataclysmic as childhood cancer is bound to ricochet within the walls of your home. Be aware that previous emotional trauma, baggage, or maladaptive core beliefs, for both sides, can emerge after diagnosis and test the bond even more. Know that men and women process these darkest moments completely different, and give space and grace for that.

To all the single parents, divorced parents, and those fighting to stay together, I am thinking of you through this season and holding you in my heart.