Trade in your anchor for wings

Upon diagnosis, one may feel incredibly handy capped, bound and useless in regards to your ability to support your child through treatment. The scariest words ever spoken upon diagnosis are usually followed up with” There is nothing YOU can do that will help.” “Every calorie is a good calorie.” “We will take it from here.” In some form, these are typically the first words a parent will hear. In that instant, it was as if I had been crushed emotionally and mentally and then the next statement immediately took away my physical strength as a mother. I am sure these words were meant to be consoling. Some sort of relief. An anchor in the storm. But “Nothing I can do?” I am her caretaker! I kiss her boo-boo’s. I calm her fears. I tell her it is all going to be all right. I am her super hero, day in and day out. The reality is, I can’t kiss this boo-boo away, and these fears that she has…..are REAL! These fears are not some fictitious scary monster under the bed but a true fear of needles and strangers in white coats. They exist! And they are in charge. And there is “nothing I can do.” The weight of that is so heavy.

Before going any further, let me say that I am extremely grateful for our physicians and nurses, for all of their life saving attempts and compassionate hearts. And even for the ChildLife services provided to ease some of the scary moments. So much so, that a lot of our children come out of treatment only remembering the GOOD, the fun and their new best friends called nurses. This is not always the case, but for the most part, our children may seem more resilient than we are. Now, I am not minimizing the effects of childhood trauma that can rear their ugly head later on, but I want to focus on the parents’ well-being upon diagnosis, during treatment and after. To acknowledge that you, as parents, have the ability to lift that weight, to TRADE IN YOUR ANCHORS FOR WINGS! Do not be held down or limited in the belief that you don’t play a role in your child’s healing or quality of life. To be given tangible, simple things that are also impactful, is a blessing. MaxLove Project has done a brilliant job in filling in these needs. They are here, with scientific research and hundreds of families that have used these protocols or pillars of thrivorship. Families that have seen a drastic change in how their children recover from chemo and how they are able to reduce potential side effects of treatment. These are wings! These could potentially renew your super powers!

Changing the conversation upon diagnosis may not happen anytime soon, but I dream it sounds something like this “Here is our treatment plan, and here are some things (if interested or able to do so) that you can do to assist with quality of life through treatment.” I understand that we have all processed this differently. This may even sound like a nightmare of stress and to-do’s verses tools for you. I would love to hear your thoughts!!!

What is one thing that you felt gave you wings? Or did that anchor give you the stability you needed at that time? Don’t be afraid to have a different opinion, it is all relative. Let's chat.